Jun. 11th, 2012

bravocharliesierra: (Default)
I have had a lot of acquaintances and some decent friends and some good
friends. I admittedly go through friends pretty quickly, and did so
especially as a teen and pre-teen. After starting working at my day job, I
have actually managed to build some pretty awesome relationships, which is
something I did not expect (especially since I have trouble building
relationships with peers, especially females, and because I work in a very
different environment than my upbringing prepared me for).

I was lucky enough to meet Colleen <http://www.scrapandrun.com> early in my
time at this job. She is one of my favorite people because I never feel
weird around her. I can talk about *anything at all*, no matter how strange
or potentially judgmental it might be. She never makes me feel like my
expectations are too high or like I am stupid. Even though she's way
smarter and more precise than I am, and even when I'm kind of a shitty
friend, she never acts like I'm less of a person than she is. I don't feel
inadequate around her because she always wants to be friends with everyone.

She works really hard and she's actually changed me a lot as a person for
the better. She helped me literally get back on my feet after being injured
and sick, pushing me to start walking and get out there. She's encouraged
me to work out and to do things in NA-YGN and other organizations. She
helped me learn that numbers aren't always bad - seeing her daily data
encouraged me to learn a little more about how the numbers of my body
worked. I also learned a lot about clothes with her. She let me go to the
mall and pick out clothes that I knew would fit her and would look good on
her, and helped me to integrate more bright colors into my wardrobe.

How many people can say they have a friend of a short time (just a few
years) that has changed their perspective on so many aspects of their life
in such a good way?

On an unfortunate note, Colleen is moving to California, which is literally
as far away in the country as you can get (aside from Hawaii and Alaska). I
keep on feeling like I didn't get enough time and that I should have tried
harder, and I know that's I should have, but I'm feeling a lot of complex
emotion about it. First, I'm super excited for her husband who got an
awesome job at Google, which I'm a little envious of and wish the best for
him in. Second, I'm excited for their opportunity to live in an area that's
more suited to a healthy lifestyle (with the chance to bike to work and be
in a more walkable community). Third, I am excited for the change! It's
always exciting when something new happens, and I think that Colleen has a
chance of getting an awesome job there, because I know she is a dedicated
person and that she will perform excellently in whatever she tries to do.
Fourth, it makes the prospect of visiting them in California a fun
possibility, even if it's a way off. However, in opposition, I'm so sad to
see her leave.

I have never had a friend I was so close to that I saw as much of and knew
so much about move so far away. I have had an experience where I thought
this was happening, but there were so many other negative emotions mixed up
in it that it just wasn't this kind of weird emptiness and struggle to
imagine time without them. When Laura left for Texas, I was sad, but we
didn't see each other a lot even though we're close and return to
super-friends as soon as we see each other again. I've had friends move
away, acquaintances move away, but no one with whom I feel this strong of a
kinship. It has been such a confusing bundle of emotions to deal with
because the excitement is still pretty overwhelmed with this sadness.

I've never had this experience before. It's a new one and it is definitely
a difficult one. I know it will help me grow and that I will still be able
to see Colleen's life every day on her blog, which I am grateful for, but I
will miss her a ton, and I will miss Dave, too. It feels like part of
growing up; I just hope it doesn't ever mean growing apart.

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