May. 15th, 2012

Road Map

May. 15th, 2012 05:01 pm
bravocharliesierra: (Default)
I am reaching a quiet turning point right now. I have a three year spread
ahead of me of some major priorities. I can either succeed or fail with
them, there's not really an in-between. The consequences for failure aren't
as extreme now as they would have been a year ago, or even six months ago.
There would be emotional and mental consequences, but it isn't striking
terror in me.

I have been trying for years to figure out who I am, what I want to do,
where I want to go, and now I am pretty sure I know some of it. I'm making
little steps toward it. It's a little like tip-toeing, mostly because I am
constantly trying to not allow my lack of self-confidence override my need
to complete things. I want to succeed, but I don't know where to set a
marker of success. Is it moving into a professional field instead of an
admin job? Is it just finishing my degree? Is it being able to not work, by
way of TGW's success? This is possibly the most complicated decision.

I feel like my life is constantly changing, never staying the same.
Sometimes this is good, but it can be pretty exhausting.

I have been trying to figure out some key goals to continue becoming
happier and better at life in general. These are some new ones.


- Learn to balance habits - I like to drink coffee and Red Bull, but if
I drink too much, I risk having too much caffeine in my system and I don't
sleep and feel the crash more when it wanes. I did a short break of
caffeine over the past 2 weeks - weaning down from a ton to almost none,
and I have found a lot of balance in the interim. I know now when I can
drink caffeine in order to make it easier to fall asleep, which is really
useful. I also am learning slowly that there are legitimately times when I
should listen to my body and not exercise or overdo it. It is more
damaging. I have to be willing to sacrifice that workout for the ability to
do other things comfortably the next day.

- Listen to my system - As I mentioned, I have to listen to my body to
know when too much is too much. I also have to understand what works for
me. I did aerobic exercise on an exercise bike on an average of 3 times a
week for about 4 months before I finally broke down and just started doing
primarily weights, with some aerobics. The difference was incredible. With
just the aerobics, I lost no weight or inches, and I didn't feel better at
all. With the weights first, then adding the aerobics in small doses, I
immediately started feeling better and lost a pound consistently (my weight
fluctuation on a whole dropped down by 1 lb.), plus I had some waistline
reduction. That made me super happy! I listened to my body, and I felt
better for it.

- Expose myself to healthier habits to enforce them - If I have someone
else to go to the gym with, I'm more likely to go. We signed up for a farm
share, and having veggies, fruit, and other local farm foods every week has
increased our healthy eating quite a bit. It's not perfect, but it's doing
better. It was a big up front expense, but I think it is totally worth it.

- Show my successes - I am slowly, *slowly* becoming better at showing
that I've done well at something. I still feel like it's bragging, and I'm
sure there are plenty of people who do, but without recognizing what I do
well or when I succeed or "win", I don't learn to keep doing those things.
Knowing I can do it and do it well is necessary to do it better all the
time.

- Ask for feedback - I am trying to learn to always ask for feedback on
everything I do. I preemptively ask for people to tell me what they think
of things I want to do or say, just to get a better perspective. I ask for
peer checks (a Human Performance tool we use at work, but I'm using it
personally too) instead of just doing things without a review. I e-mail or
call people after I complete a task for them and say, hey, did I do okay?
How can I do better?


I am started on doing these already, but I really, really want to keep up
with it. Putting down things like this is a good way for me to keep doing
them, to see my successes, and to build the healthy habits that I need to.
Hopefully, I can keep doing better.

-BCS

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bravocharliesierra

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