Jan. 20th, 2012

The Rules

Jan. 20th, 2012 10:07 pm
bravocharliesierra: (Default)
The Brad Pitt Rule: The dirtier or more repulsive a man is intended to be
in a movie, the hotter he is. See: Brad Pitt in *Meet Joe Black* or *Interview
with the Vampire* vs. Brad Pitt in *Snatch* or *Seven Years in Tibet. *For
the full effect, check out *Twelve Monkeys*.
*
*
The Gerard Butler Paradox: Why do women like Gerard Butler? Gerard Butler
is not attractive. Gerard Butler is not talented. Gerard Butler is not
actually even that funny. However, Gerard Butler is MANLY. Yes, with
capital letters. He is muscular in the way that men who work out but also
drink a lot of beer are muscular. He is dirty (see Brad Pitt Rule). He is
offensive (think frat boy), he is promiscuous and dickish with a "heart of
gold" (think Barney Stinson), and he's just MANLY.

The Morgan Freeman Principle: Everything sounds like a parable when Morgan
Freeman says it.

Action Hero Formula: Action heroes + more action heroes = cool guys not
looking at explosions.

The Samuel L. Jackson Limit: Every actor has a subjective screen-time
limit. For some, it is five minutes (see: Samuel L. Jackson). For some,
it's nigh-infinite (see: Bruce Willis).

The Dame Governance: Any woman with the title of "Dame" in a film or
television show makes everyone else look like a tool.

The Betty White Dilemma: Old ladies swearing and being offensive will leave
you torn between amusement and horror.

Ginger Birthright: In before "soulless" joke.



(potentially more to follow)

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